I am a researcher. I must know how to make something. I need a step by step process or solution. I must understand.
That can be a great thing or it can be my down fall. In today’s world, we have access to way too much information. “New research says”…..you fill in the blank. How do we distinguish what is actually best for our children? How do we know we are doing something right? It can be so confusing and overwhelming to have access to any topic you want to read about. But a lot of the time “new research say” you are wrong. But that is how you take it and that can be confusing! Again, it can be a great tool, but I feel it also damaging our natural flow of parenting!
You would read up on how to properly change the oil in your car correct? Although that is basically way simpler than raising a child, you need to have the knowledge to do so. But how do we find “the knowledge” to raise children safely and effectively without over doing it?
I do not have a complete answer for that. And it is so hilarious to me that I am writing my own post about this topic, which someone will read and it will add to their web of online reading about parenting. But in this case this is a perspective and not research.
It comes down to finding the example (another parent, Jesus, a community of people you actually know, listening to your husband’s input) you want to learn from and trust you will be a good parent. We are now so technology reliant that we tend to shy away from REAL contact with the people around us. We no longer live in a community. We live in a internet, crazy bubble of “facts” that we so willing share that we no longer have the ability to go “with our gut”. We do not trust ourselves let alone others. We need that research to determine our choices or actions. We do not even trust doctors anymore! Who do we trust?
It is a cycle of fear.
How do we change this? You may say to just take a break from the internet. But you need to talk to someone and get some input from a friend or relative. However, many of those people are also stuck on the “new research” and again, you cannot get away from it. How do we do find answers amongst the chaos?
It is silly that I am writing about this on the internet, the place I am saying can be damaging, but as mentioned it also can be a good thing.
Choose wisely. Break of the cycle of fear. Trust yourself and the one you look up to. These are the things I am learning.
How are you going to break the cycle of fear and confusion?