Dear, (It Only Gets Worse) Friend

I feel that most people have a clear understanding that parenthood is no walk in the park. I feel that sometimes when a friend or family comments to the effect of “just wait, (insert annoying conclusion), do not realize how irritating or annoying it is to hear that. Of course, we know some of our precious, peaceful moments won’t necessarily last, but that does not mean you need to chime in and let us know “how it is”.

Here are three things that goes through my head when you say these things:

  1. Thank you for ruining my moment
    • It does not help when you tell me that my baby will not sleep that good all the time. It does not help when I mention that my baby is crawling now, and that you must tell me it only gets worse. 
    • My question to you is, why do you feel the need to ruin the moment? 
    • How about celebrating the moment with me.
 
  1. I think you are a complainer
    • When you say these things, I assume you must be miserable and not enjoy life despite the difficulties. 
    • I am not going to be positive all the time, but I do not feel the need to say what MAY be ahead to other moms because it just makes their situation worse. 
    • Unless someone asks, probably should keep it to yourself.
 
  1. I won’t confide in you
    • If I come to you asking for advice and I ask for your experience, then that is appropriate. 
    • If I never ask your opinion about the situation, it is aggravating when you tell me that my experience will get worse. 
    • The fact is that we all have different experiences and will never have the same child. 

You might be thinking, well why don’t you just not let it affect you. Well, because if nothing ever affected anyone, then we wouldn’t need work on ourselves. I do pretty well with handling these situations. It does not mean it does not need to be said. I am not angry or sit here thinking of this all the time, I just come across this often. It is not always to me, but I will see newer mom friends get these comments. It also happened when I was pregnant.

 
You have the right to your options and can say whatever you like. This is just another perspective when you are talking to other mothers or fathers, especially new ones.
 

 

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